youth ministry – nickmullis.com

Twenty-one years ago, I returned to Lawrence County after being away at college, unsure of what was next. I found myself in youth ministry, something I never expected to be doing. Ten years ago I founded Between the Crowd, a new ministry for the adolescents of my home county.

Through the years, thousands of students have passed through our programs. Some students are still struggling in life. Some are knocking it out of the park, and several are actually leading ministries of their own now.

Suicides were prevented… Addictions were challenged… New life was offered… A lot of students said yes to Jesus and some are still searching.

In the past twenty-one years, I have done my best to build a brighter tomorrow. I have spent myself to borrow from Sir Winston Churchill, in blood, toil, tears, and sweat. I have broken bones. I have had sleepless nights. I have sat in restaurants into the early hours listening to teenagers weep, and answered my phone in the middle of the night. On more than one occasion, I stood at the edge of burnout. In all this, Jesus has held me up and helped me focus on the task at hand, reaching young people with the gospel of Jesus.

To be honest, amid success, I have had my moments of failure. Students have needed me to show up, and I didn’t. Some needed a listening ear, and I talked over them. Others needed sympathy, and I offered judgement. In all cases, I hope people can see Jesus despite me. I am a flawed, growing human being who is trying to be better today than I was yesterday. It requires a lot of grace from Jesus and patience with myself and from the surrounding humanity.

All that said… It is time for a break, a long break! This summer, 2023, I am taking a sabbatical. There is Biblical precedent for this journey. Every seven years, the people of Israel were to rest and let the land rest. I’m going to take a rest and do some things that fill my soul and go on a couple of spiritual pilgrimages. That means I am trekking all over Europe. I want to visit the places C. S. Lewis taught, wrote, and sat. I want to walk where John Wesley walked. I want to kneel and pray where the Moravians launched a 100 year prayer meeting; then cry in the places where St. Francis of Assisi wept. I want to walk for days to let it all settle in my heart and mind. There is a lot of fun spread out in there as well. My aim is to give myself space to rest and recover from twenty-one years of an amazing rollercoaster—ministry.

I want to invite you into this process. Between the Crowd gives me a stipend and I will put my money into the adventure. I want to invite you to join me in making this adventure happen. I have set a goal for $5,000 raised. I consider anything above that goal a donation to Between the Crowd. If you can’t give, please take a minute and pray for me as I refresh and pray for Between the Crowd as we prepare for the next ten years.

Thank you in advance for whatever you choose to do! I am grateful for every student, parent, and volunteer that has crossed my path in the last twenty-one years.

This is the link to my Go Fund Me account:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/its-time-for-a-sabbatical?qid=9c9124c15d07af0dafedc1e801ad4ad8

“The young have not arrogantly turned their backs on the adult world. Rather, they have been forced by a personal sense of abandonment to band together and create their own world – separate, semisecret, and vastly different from the world around them.” –Chap Clark, Hurt 2.0

Every day you wake up… You are told that you are weak. You are told you are selfish. You are told that you need to grow up – yet few if any are willing to guide you in the process. There is a point you begin to withdraw and the rift between you and the people speaking to you grows wider. For those in the Millennial and iGen generations this is the sense of abandonment they live in daily.

Every generation thinks the one that follows their’s is somehow worse. Our great-grandparents said it, our grandparents said, our parents said it, we say it, and the generations after us will say it, “When I was a kid…” Though there are some significant differences between the generations. The Greatest Generation, Boomers, Busters, and Xer’s lived in a smaller more self-contained world than either Millennials or iGen.

For Millennials and iGen, 83% will graduate high school (NCEE). After graduation, they can join the military, go to work, go to college (we will not list the options under this heading), take a gap year, or some will even choose to become famous. Then in their romantic life, they have the high school sweetheart (statistically this will not last), a college sweetheart, a co-worker, the church singles ministry, the bar scene, various dating websites, or choosing to live single in small platonic communities. It is a different world that is terrifying and diverse and decision fatigue is real. Because it is overwhelming, those who are older can be intimidated and therefore abandon the perplexing younger generations with phrases like, “Just make a decision…, What’s your problem…, When I was your age I knew exactly what I was going to do.” All well meaning but not helpful.

The two youngest generations have been left to fend for themselves, because they are viewed as, indecisive or “overly emotional.” We want them to grow up, but we don’t offer them any help in moving toward adulthood. In some cases, parents decide to move toward being their teenagers friend, when right now teenagers need their parents to teach them how to be a “grown-up.” Your children learn how to make decisions and participate in the world by watching parents and listening to them.

As parents step up and move from being friends to being adults in front of their kids, the rest of us need to stop running away from those younger than us. We can learn from them.

The Apostle Paul wrote to his young mentee Timothy, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12 NIV)

Millennials and iGen, are generations of compassion. They desire to make the world a better place. They will look past differences faster (in general) than many that came before. They have a high desire to serve. Again motivated by their sense of compassion these generations long to help people, but they do not always know how, they need adults who will come along side them and help them find healthy ways to expend this service energy. As teenagers there is a limited sense of inhibition, that gift, will allow young people to tackle projects many of us find too hard, again they need us to step in beside them and offer guidance, but if we will point the vibrance of youth in the right direction they can accomplish incredible feats.

Adolescent researcher Chap Clark writes of, “five strategies to turn the tide of systemic abandonment,” as parents, youth workers, educators, and community leaders we would do well for, the young current and future generations, to lean into these five ideas…

Those who work with youth should be trained in shifting youth culture.
Those who serve adolescents must work together.
Those who serve adolescents must understand youth and provide boundaries.
Parents need to be equipped and encouraged to parent the changing adolescent.
Communities must make sure that each student has a few adult advocates who know and care for them.

Together we can remember and celebrate the generations that have gone before and hopefully do the same for the newest generations as well. Let us not abandon the young but be people that help them grow.

(This was first published as an article for the Times Mail.)

Tag: youth ministry

The Long and Winding Break: Time for a Sabbatical!

The Abandoned Generations