Afraid to Fear Less

Photo by Tonik on Unsplash

When I was a boy I was scared of the dark, in some ways I still am. I had an active imagination and lived in a house that was built during the Civil War and my room was one oldest rooms and I was not as tidy as I am now. I was also not a kid that ran to my parents when I got scared. I dealt with the fear in my own way. If I would wake up and find myself paralyzed by fear, I sang to myself. There was a chorus to a hymn that would ring in my head when in the moments of terror. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there’s just something about that name. Kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but there’s something about that name.” The number of times I would sing it through was in direct proportion of how scared I was. Given enough time and enough play throughs of those lines and I would eventually fall back to sleep.  

In the course of my life I would learn there are worse things than the dark, and I am grateful that I have not had to experience much worse that those nights of trauma decades ago. On some level, fear plays a role in all our lives. During this pandemic, fear has seized our world. People fear sickness, and even more they fear the potential of death that sickness brings. Some use fear trying to control behavior, which works for a while, but people become exhausted by fear mongering and stop paying attention, except for some that struggle with anxiety. There are longer term, healthier ways to motivate people to action, like honesty and love, but that is for another day. Fear is a reality for all of us, from the brave to the coward, but it doesn’t have to rule our lives. It can serve its purpose and we can grow because of it. 

What is fear?

Fear is a powerful emotion stirred by a sense of danger. Being scared triggers the fight-or-flight instinct, this impulse is fear. It releases a chemical called adrenaline into our bodies and it floods the hypothalamus and amygdala (the impulse part of our brain). Our sense heighten, our heart races, muscles tighten and our body prepares for action. (For more detail on what happens in your body during the fear response visit link 1 at the bottom.)

The Sources of Fear

What we fear differs from person-to-person. As a child I feared the dark, as an adult the things I fear are more ideas and concepts, creations in my mind. There are certain prayers I fear praying because of what it might mean. I have friends that are terrified of snakes, water, or a particular person. Everyone has something that at the least makes them feel uneasy. Jerry Seinfeld once joked, “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” 

As varied as our fears are they can be boiled down to two primary sources.  

The unknown and a lack of Control.

We don’t know what is around the corner, and our heart races. We see a shadow through our window and will call the police to come check our house. Not knowing causes the tense physiological changes associated with fear. 

Lack of control with things like the Coronavirus Pandemic… I can’t do anything about how other people are responding, my blood-pressure rises because of the anxiety of people not following the stay-at-home guidance. 

Fear isn’t bad; sustained fear is…

Fear in a moment can be a good thing. Fears heightened awareness can help you avoid the car accident in front of you. It stops you from grabbing the venomous snake when you’re out for a hike. Momentary fear protects from walking down the dark alley when you’re out too late.  

Sustained fear, also known as anxiety, is destructive. This state of being leave your body in that hyperaware mode. It’s hard on your heart and your emotional wellbeing. Prolonged fear can lead to damage to your body. Headaches, dizziness, and depression are some neurological results. Increased blood pressure, heart palpitation, chest pain, digestive issues, and a suppressed immune system are byproducts of a perpetual state of fear or anxiety. (Visit link 2 for more on fears effects.) 

How do we respond to fear?

As fear has kind of run the world for the past few months we there have been some great quotes surfacing from various places. One of those came from Mark Twain, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” There is so much in fear that we can’t control and if we let it, those unknowns overwhelm us. Here are a few ways you can battle the fear and keep it from turning to anxiety.

  • Be thankful. It may seem trite, but there is truth to it. When we express gratitude we come down from our fear pedestal and start focusing on what is there instead of what may or may not be in our future. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
  • Share your burden. We are rarely if ever alone in our fear. Some people in the world are better equipped to respond to the burden. Share it because we should not wrestle alone. “Bear one another’s burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 
  • Accept what you can’t change. Easier said than done… Write it down, say it out loud, “This is beyond my control, I can do nothing with it so I won’t carry this burden.” “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Psalm 118:6
  • Hand over control. Much like acceptance, stop trying to control the situation. You need to hand it over to someone that can respond to it. If it’s beyond your grasp of ability, let someone else step in on your behalf. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
  • Look to a constant. This is the hardest because our world is in constant flux. There is one who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He loves you and wants you to lean in with your fear. Jesus is big enough and strong enough to carry your burden. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Fear gets to us all at some point, but it doesn’t have to win. My hope for us all is that tomorrow we fear less.

1. http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/what-happens-brain-feel-fear-180966992/

2. https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/effects-on-body#6