hope – nickmullis.com

November 24, 2020November 24, 2020

An Awkward Thanksgiving… Tuesday

Where are you God? In 2020, it’s an easy question for us to ask. A pandemic, racial tension unseen for decades, political unrest, and simple frustration with humanity. Unprecedented, we want normalcy, unlike anything we have seen before, words and phrases that have changed the way we talk about everyday life.

We feel abandoned. We feel lost and we aren’t sure exactly what to do. Our feelings may seem new and solely ours, but we are not the first to feel forgot. The Bible demonstrates the process of grace, rejection, exile, and finally restoration again.

Psalm 89 is a prayer given to the people of Israel. It’s there to remind the people of the faithfulness of God, even when He seems distant.

The 89th Psalm consists of four parts. First is the grace—the poet sings of the rule of God. They write of the greatness and wonder of the Kingdom. Then Ethan (the named creator of the work) reminds the reader of the promise God has made to Israel through the line of David. As the second movement in the Psalm closes, he reminds Israel of their rejection of God. Lament frames the third portion. He mourns the exile that awaits the nation of Israel. He weeps over the trials they face. This poem ends with the author returning to the beginning — “Praise be to the Lord forever! Amen and Amen.”

Some scholars think these words were penned after the nation of Israel had been in exile. The Psalm remembers and reminds them of the pain they endured and the restored hope during their wandering.

Though no one has driven us from our homeland, we feel the sense of loss that Israel understood. As we enter Thanksgiving, we feel all is lost. I remind you; is not. There is still beauty. The God of the first movement is still the God watching over our hurting world. He is still the God of love with His arms open, ready to receive back his people.

When we pause on Thursday to celebrate this awkward Thanksgiving, remember that it is only for a time. Exile isn’t forever—it is only a small piece of the cycle.

November 20, 2020November 20, 2020

The Questions You Asked Series… Q6

This question is part of a series, The Questions You Ask. I mean the responses to be short. If there is something you would like me to go more in depth on, please let me know.

How can somebody overcome crippling loneliness, despite having plenty of friends?

I saved this question for last, because it is the hardest to answer briefly and maybe the most important question asked during this season in human history. I got input from friends in the world of counseling.

First, we need to garner some understanding of where this pain comes from. There are multiple roots, but here are some questions to consider in self-examination.

Are you battling anxiety or depression?
Have you faced a trauma you have shoved down and leaves you feeling disassociated from loved ones?
Do you have friends you feel you can be gut level honest with?
Do you see yourself as someone worth knowing?

How do we respond to this pain? You may need to find some professional help, especially in the first two cases (I can point you in the right direction if you need to talk to someone). Beyond that, feelings of isolation and loneliness come from a negative place. God made us to live in a community. You need to change the story you are telling yourself. Start speaking and writing the things you are thankful for, look for ways to serve other people. Look at your thought patterns, are you living in the negative how can you interrupt that flow of self-talk. Lean more into developing a relationship with God who provides the highest value for you.

I went a little over the word count, but it needed to happen. I end with this quote from Mother Teresa, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

November 19, 2020November 19, 2020

The Questions You Asked Series… Q4/5

This question is part of a series, The Questions You Ask. I mean the responses to be short. If there is something you would like me to go more in depth on, please let me know.

Today I am taking on two questions because they fit together too well to separate. That means the word count is a little higher but still meets the goal because I am under 500 words.

Why do you think you are helping the community?

My gut response when I read this question was, “We don’t.” I was in a moment of frustration and mad at a couple of people I work with, and that blocked my ability to think clearly. That’s why I waited to respond to this question.

I think we make a difference. It’s hard, though, to quantify the work that we do. William Bruce Cameron once said, “Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.”

I think this is true with any organization that works with people. We can give you numbers of involvement, but that doesn’t equate to difference made, that’s just the people involved. We may not know the impact we have had until way into the future, or maybe not even until the other side of resurrection.

So the most honest answer is, I think so and I hope so.

Is there any proof that you are helping the community?

As I mentioned above, it’s difficult to quantify the work we do in a meaningful way. Here are some numbers and a couple of pieces of anecdotal evidence…

During the 2019-2020 school year, we had over different 300 students involved in our weekly programs. Over 150 on a weekly basis. We had 2 dozen active volunteers. We took nearly 200 people on trips from Spring Break to Spring Break. Those are only the numbers we can track. We also substitute teach, coach sports, work with various committees and support and encourage many youth workers. The reach of our work is farther than we really understand.

Twice in the last 6 years I have met with students that were on the verge of suicide and we were able to assist them in finding the help they needed. One is now a graduate of Purdue and doing incredible work. The other is a member of the US Airforce and serving our country.

There are many other stories, but I limited my word count.

To answer both questions succinctly… I hope and believe. Maybe?

May 4, 2020

Afraid to Fear Less

When I was a boy I was scared of the dark, in some ways I still am. I had an active imagination and lived in a house that was built during the Civil War and my room was one oldest rooms and I was not as tidy as I am now. I was also not a kid that ran to my parents when I got scared. I dealt with the fear in my own way. If I would wake up and find myself paralyzed by fear, I sang to myself. There was a chorus to a hymn that would ring in my head when in the moments of terror. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there’s just something about that name. Kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but there’s something about that name.” The number of times I would sing it through was in direct proportion of how scared I was. Given enough time and enough play throughs of those lines and I would eventually fall back to sleep.

In the course of my life I would learn there are worse things than the dark, and I am grateful that I have not had to experience much worse that those nights of trauma decades ago. On some level, fear plays a role in all our lives. During this pandemic, fear has seized our world. People fear sickness, and even more they fear the potential of death that sickness brings. Some use fear trying to control behavior, which works for a while, but people become exhausted by fear mongering and stop paying attention, except for some that struggle with anxiety. There are longer term, healthier ways to motivate people to action, like honesty and love, but that is for another day. Fear is a reality for all of us, from the brave to the coward, but it doesn’t have to rule our lives. It can serve its purpose and we can grow because of it.

What is fear?

Fear is a powerful emotion stirred by a sense of danger. Being scared triggers the fight-or-flight instinct, this impulse is fear. It releases a chemical called adrenaline into our bodies and it floods the hypothalamus and amygdala (the impulse part of our brain). Our sense heighten, our heart races, muscles tighten and our body prepares for action. (For more detail on what happens in your body during the fear response visit link 1 at the bottom.)

The Sources of Fear

What we fear differs from person-to-person. As a child I feared the dark, as an adult the things I fear are more ideas and concepts, creations in my mind. There are certain prayers I fear praying because of what it might mean. I have friends that are terrified of snakes, water, or a particular person. Everyone has something that at the least makes them feel uneasy. Jerry Seinfeld once joked, “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

As varied as our fears are they can be boiled down to two primary sources.

The unknown and a lack of Control.

We don’t know what is around the corner, and our heart races. We see a shadow through our window and will call the police to come check our house. Not knowing causes the tense physiological changes associated with fear.

Lack of control with things like the Coronavirus Pandemic… I can’t do anything about how other people are responding, my blood-pressure rises because of the anxiety of people not following the stay-at-home guidance.

Fear isn’t bad; sustained fear is…

Fear in a moment can be a good thing. Fears heightened awareness can help you avoid the car accident in front of you. It stops you from grabbing the venomous snake when you’re out for a hike. Momentary fear protects from walking down the dark alley when you’re out too late.

Sustained fear, also known as anxiety, is destructive. This state of being leave your body in that hyperaware mode. It’s hard on your heart and your emotional wellbeing. Prolonged fear can lead to damage to your body. Headaches, dizziness, and depression are some neurological results. Increased blood pressure, heart palpitation, chest pain, digestive issues, and a suppressed immune system are byproducts of a perpetual state of fear or anxiety. (Visit link 2 for more on fears effects.)

How do we respond to fear?

As fear has kind of run the world for the past few months we there have been some great quotes surfacing from various places. One of those came from Mark Twain, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” There is so much in fear that we can’t control and if we let it, those unknowns overwhelm us. Here are a few ways you can battle the fear and keep it from turning to anxiety.

Be thankful. It may seem trite, but there is truth to it. When we express gratitude we come down from our fear pedestal and start focusing on what is there instead of what may or may not be in our future. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Share your burden. We are rarely if ever alone in our fear. Some people in the world are better equipped to respond to the burden. Share it because we should not wrestle alone. “Bear one another’s burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

Accept what you can’t change. Easier said than done… Write it down, say it out loud, “This is beyond my control, I can do nothing with it so I won’t carry this burden.” “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Psalm 118:6
Hand over control. Much like acceptance, stop trying to control the situation. You need to hand it over to someone that can respond to it. If it’s beyond your grasp of ability, let someone else step in on your behalf. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Look to a constant. This is the hardest because our world is in constant flux. There is one who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He loves you and wants you to lean in with your fear. Jesus is big enough and strong enough to carry your burden. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Fear gets to us all at some point, but it doesn’t have to win. My hope for us all is that tomorrow we fear less.

1. http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/what-happens-brain-feel-fear-180966992/

2. https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/effects-on-body#6

January 18, 2020

Change…

My alarm sounded and I climbed out of the top bunk I had slept in since I was seven. It wasn’t a typical day but I did all the typical things that formed the routine I kind of had. I showered and got dressed and then waited for Mom and Dad to say it was time to go.

The moment came, and as I walked out the back door of our farm house I told myself I wouldn’t look back. As I walked I looked straight ahead and when I climbed into the front seat of the van I closed my eyes until the house was behind me. I wouldn’t look back. My whole world was changing and I was terrified but certain I was going to embrace the future.

In my immature eighteen year old brain I had just spent my last night in my parents house. I was heading to college and it was the end of an era in my life. I would never come home again.

I was gone for a month before I was home for a weekend and in the same bed I had slept in for years. I spent a lot of nights in that same bed for several more years as I faced a lot of change.

When I was younger I didn’t like change. That day leaving for college wasn’t thrilling. I still don’t go looking for change but I accept it when it arrives and sometimes I do seek it out.

I’m not alone either. Our culture is full of sayings, “The good old days…, I remember when…, I wish it could be like it used to be.” They are all notions built on our feeling that change is the enemy.

I wonder what it is that makes change so hard… Is it the fear of the future? We don’t know what is coming or if we will be able to handle whatever it is. We can. We have a whole life time behind us that says we can endure what is coming. We never knew what was ahead of us but we still made it. You didn’t know you would struggle in school. You didn’t know you would have an addiction that would steal a piece of your life, but you’re still here. Someone could have told you, “You’re going to be an amazing mom,” and you laughed at them — but now you are loved by your children. We didn’t know, and yet we made the future our present.

I think the pain of change is more about what we are losing. Where the future is unwritten, the past and present we know and we are comfortable with them. I know how to respond to what has already happened to me. If you start changing things, I’m going to lose things — stability, comfort, an excuse. If things change then I may hurt or someone I know may hurt.

We are a people that avoid pain at all cost, but we shouldn’t. Pain reminds us there is life and it is worth living and worth fighting for.

Here is some advice for the seasons or moments of change…

Don’t go it alone. We were not meant to be lone wolves; we are communal creatures and humanity would be better served if we lived that way. Speak out your fears and the things you will mourn in the midst of the disruption. Share each others burdens.

Don’t let anger rule the day. Change is going to happen. As the old saying goes, you never enter the same river twice. Anger is wasted energy in the world of change, because anger rarely makes things better, it clouds our perceptions and feeds our fears.

Do look for reasons to be excited. The fact that tomorrow will be different from today should stir our sense of adventure. Tomorrow is a chance to make something new, or build on a stronger foundation.

Do invite someone to share in your delight. As Paulo Coelho wrote, “Happiness is something that multiplies when it is divided.”

We only pass through this life once and change is part of the process.

July 30, 2019July 30, 2019

The Hen Cackles at Midnight

Oddly enough, a television show about war gave me a sense that everything was right in the world. Some of my fondest childhood memories were hearing the M*A*S*H theme song playing. By the time I was old enough to watch M*A*S*H it was in reruns that came on after Carson. I don’t think I actually saw an episode until I was into middle school but that wasn’t the point when I was a young boy. If I was hearing the theme song play it meant that I had gotten to stay up late with dad. Most of the time I was asleep before the final note played, but I still tried. I was going to cherish every second I had to stay up late. The warmth of my memories of the show meant that I did eventually start watching M*A*S*H. The show fed into my nostalgic personality and love of history. By the time I was a sophomore in high school I had seen every episode at least once and most of them multiple times. As an adult, once a year, I rewatch every episode of the TV series. Like everyone I have my favorite characters, Sidney Freedman, Father Mulcahy and my preferred era (Potter, Hunnicutt, and Winchester seasons).

One of my favorite episodes is found in season six – The Light that Failed. We find the 4077, low on supplies and morale, in the midst of a bitter winter. When the supply truck arrives it’s filled with summer gear and a small package addressed to B.J. Hunnicutt. B.J. rips open the parcel to discover he had been sent a mystery novel – The Rooster Crowed at Midnight. Over the course of the episode the book if torn apart and pages passed around so the entire camp has the chance to solve the mystery together. The problem arrises when Captain Hunnicutt finds the last page and, subsequently, the reveal of the murderer are missing. Eventually they called the, 97 year old, author Abigail Porterfield.

Though they never discovered who the villain was a noticeable change had swept through the camp. Doctors, nurses, and support staff came to life and were talking about the book. A book at the right time in the right place restored the waining spirits of a small displaced community.

A few months ago, my town had its own, “The Rooster Crowed at Midnight” moment. Except for us it wasn’t a book or a rooster. For us it was the painting of a hen named Rose.

Once upon a time ago my town was a center for the art of stone carving. We had carvers that did brilliant and beautiful things with limestone. Our stone works were famous the world over. Limestone is what put us on the map. During the years between the limestone boom and the modern era our heart for art was mostly forgotten. We still talked about it and acknowledged it, but it stirred neither passion nor excitement in the community. We had grown too familiar and too distant. Then the hen appeared. It wasn’t unexpected, the piece had been commissioned. The artist did his work in the middle of the day with onlookers watching him give life to a blank concrete block wall. When all was said and done, looking back at passers-by was a hen speaking love.

Much like the book in M*A*S*H, our hen lifted the spirits of all who saw it. It got us talking about the future again and who we could become as a community. For a moment it reminded us that we have talent and joy and life floating around in our small burg. It gave us a moment of hope that we might continue to come out of the stagnation we have lived in for more than a generation. It’s only a chicken, but it’s also a beacon of hope. We can be a source of greatness again.

I believe in my town.